Welcome to The Cardiac Cosmonaut

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Welcome to our website and first ever blog.
I spent an awful lot of time deliberating on the angle I should take with our first blog. I typed the beginning of two blogs and hand drafted a few, but, none of them seemed to be fulfilling enough.
That’s when I thought that at the moment the emotional self is still rather raw and nothing I write will feel fulfilling or achieve the sense of fulfilment I am expecting it to. I just know one thing for sure and that is that I want our blogs to be truthful; none of the filtered perfection that we are accustomed to seeing. It is OKAY to not be ‘perfect’ all the time.

If there is one thing I have learnt it is that life is not about perfection and having the best of everything, it is about taking life’s experiences, taking what comes our way and shaping ourselves to become better and kinder and stronger.

On the 30th August 2019, God blessed me and my family with the most precious of gifts, a beautiful baby boy whom we named Muhammad Hanzalah Umar. Hanzalah was antenatally diagnosed with a Congenital Heart Disease called Truncus Arteriousus (I will be posting a blog about Hanzalah’s heart journey soon). Sadly, Hanzalah passed away at the age of nine weeks (1st November 2019).

When Hanzalah was born I had a purpose and that was not simply to be a mother, but, it was to be an advocate for my son, to fight for him and all of a sudden, in a matter of hours this purpose was gone. I had one job and that was to be my son’s voice, I was supposed to fight for him, in retrospect, I had failed him. I had lost my purpose. It was a feeling of extreme loneliness and emptiness. My daily visits to the hospital came to an end and the people and the environment I was used to were no more. It was all very strange.

I had to take control of my emotions and find something positive to turn my attention to, And this is where The Cardiac Cosmonaut came to fruition, just because Hanzalah had gone that did not mean that the values and morals I wanted him to be raised with could not stay alive. And, so to honour Hanzalah The Cardiac Cosmonaut was formed. If Hanzalah had lived I would have wanted him to have been a force of good in an ever- disappointing world. The Cardiac Cosmonaut will aim to bring joy and happiness to others.

You can take a look at our Projects section to get a better idea of the work we do and our aims.

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